Purging

I'm gonna try to stop bitching so much, but it's not going to be easy. Especially since I think of this as my safe place to bitch. But the bitching is making me sick now, so I need to try something else. You know, I've been screaming details of the injustice of my situation to anyone who will listening for months, and now I'm dumbly wondering why everyone's staring at me. What could they possibly be looking at?

So yeah, I'm trying to remove myself, as a person, from that drama as much as I possibly can. I thought about abandoning this blog, maybe trying to start again. But I am leaving abandoned blogs all over the interwebs, and it kind of creeps me out. So I'll just try to stick this out, I guess. And I'll try to come up with some decent posts. Give me time; I'm healing (I think). And healing is still painful.

Yesterday was the first Easter I've ever spent without my son. Yes, it sucked. But instead of bitching, I went to the yoga studio. For the fourth consecutive day. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Check. Yes, that's six hours spent in the hot room during the holy weekend. I'm purging people. I need it.

I went to school and had lunch with my son today, and he's home tonight, and that's good. I'll see him at home, after yoga.

Not my circus ...

So my son came home from school yesterday and mentioned that his father and my father got into an argument in Ft. Worth last night. He wasn't sure what it was about since they stepped in the other room, but he gathered it was about his father not having a job still (he hasn't worked since the first week of the year). I felt bad for the boy and told him I was sorry about that. He said my father left afterward and that his own father said that Gpa wasn't being very nice to him. Really? Yeah.

Today my father tells me that he had two private conversations with my ex-husband and with his own wife Sunday, informing them that if my ex continues to live under his wife's mother's roof (are you following?), he is filing for divorce. He claims it's not a threat, but I won't believe it until he files, if he files. It's not even like this will resolve the issue though ... she isn't going to boot the squatter out.

I'm beginning to wonder if God is forcing me to start outlining a memoir here. I mean, why else does my life seem to continue to get more and more insane? Is this all content for me to compile and share with some other crazy soul out there? I have no idea. I feel pretty sorry for my son.

Oh, but also, my son's father told my dad that he's going to pursue his master's degree online so that he can enter a new career field. Really? He can't afford his half of out-of-pocket expenses for my son's needed braces, but he can afford to "go back to school." These people are delusional. And I keep reminding myself of the supposed Polish proverb: "Not my circus. Not my monkeys."

Fight Club ... Jedi style ... in four months

I texted:

"My son will be with his father Aug. 1-17 during summer. And they just released the dates of this yoga retreat. It's Aug. 2-10 in Puerto Morelos, outside of Cancun. :)

I registered. They provide accommodations; I just need to book the flight. I am excited.

I will have to train/prepare to get ready for daily double practice there. It's about seven hours of yoga a day. It's going to be hard fun. Also, no smoking allowed on the trip.

We're staying at Casa Om."

What a week this has been. I just found out Tuesday which days R's father is requesting him during summer. And Thursday I got the email about the Jedi Fight Club retreat. When one door closes? Finally something happening that feels right and makes sense. Something to look forward to and a goal to work toward all summer, while my boy is away so much.

Check out this video of the JFC Enthusiasts retreat that took place last August. Click for more information on Jedi Fight Club.

Yes, I am excited.

Letter of recommendation

OK, so I wrote and submitted a letter of recommendation for my Goddaughter, who has applied for the AACU 2014 Scholarship Program. Wishing her lots of luck! Amazed by her SAT score: 1450.

Yes, I'm very proud of her -- and of her mother for raising such an amazing young lady.

March 31, 2014

Dear AACU Scholarship Committee:

Please accept this as a formal letter of recommendation in support of [Goddaugher's] application for the AACU 2014 Scholarship program. I have known [Goddaughter] since she was born and was honored when her mother, a childhood and lifelong friend, asked me to be her Godmother. She is a deserving candidate whom you will be proud to have as an example of your ideal scholarship winner.

As I witnessed [Goddaughter] grow into the amazing young woman she has become, she continually impressed me with her motivation and ambition to achieve success in all areas of her life. The most important area for her now is focusing on her future at Texas Wesleyan University where she has been accepted to study pre-law and psychology.

Over the years I’ve witnessed [Goddaughter's] commitment to academic and athletic success, and her resume speaks volumes, reflecting her dedication. She is an active member of the National Honor Society, holding a 92.9 GPA, and is ranked 102 in her high school class. She has accomplished this academic excellence while also participating in extra-curricular activities, including serving as a member of the [HS] Chorus, a letter-winning member of the [HS] volleyball team, and a member of the Tejas Volleyball Club.

I am proud to provide this letter of recommendation on behalf of [Goddaughter]. Please let me know if you have any questions or if you would like to speak with me directly regarding [her] consideration for this award. I can be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx or via email at [email addy].

Thank you for considering [Goddaughter] to represent the AACU 2014 Scholarship Program.

Kind regards,

[Moi]