Things I learned today ... from strangers:

I wasn't alone drinking barium sulfate. I met a man, and it was almost like *happy* hour. I don't know this person's name. I don't know what his CT scan is for or what lies ahead of him. I do know he's funny ... that he would rather see his "last ex-wife pole-dancing than have to drink the rest of this crap."

I wasn't alone in the CT room. I met the technician. She's never had a mammogram because she's only 35. She used to go to Texas Scottish Rite Hospital, like my son. When she was born, her fingers were webbed. They corrected it, and she liked going back because they have such interesting things to look at, and the popcorn, yes, she remembers the popcorn, and the jello from the cafeteria. She thought it was fun, kind of like my son does. Because we're lucky ... neither she nor my son (nor I) have ever been as sick as some of the other young patients that the hospital treats.

So I learned I'm not alone. And unlike the woman next to me also waiting for her mammo, I didn't have to stay for a sonogram after.

Perhaps focusing on today, being in the moment, living wholeheartedly there, in the moment today, resulted in me now reflecting on my blessings.

I get a pass

So I have wireless access while I sit in the waiting room, drinking my "Mochaccino Smoothie," also known as barium sulfate suspension, which I've been tasked to consume over the next hour, prior to my CT scan.

Starbucks, it ain't, regardless of wi-fi access.

I've suddenly never wanted a quarter-pounder with cheese more in my entire life.

I made it downtown on time. Well, maybe I'm fudging five minutes, but that's on time in my book ... despite rush-hour traffic ... or my gas light coming ON. Twenty five miles remain in my tank, says the dash. I hope that gets me home because ...

I get to my appointment only to realize I've left my small purse, containing ... my ID, my insurance card, my usual credit cards ... yeah, it's at home, in the bag I took with me to soccer practice last night.

Luckily I have another ID ... and a checkbook! Which is unfortunately quite important. Not only is this appointment inconvenient and uncomfortable, but it's also expensive, even with my insurance (fortunately they already had all the details regarding my coverage).

Today? I get a pass. Today I'm talking about my CT scan experience MORE than I'm talking about my BLESSINGS. If you don't like it, you can stop reading now. I'd like to spin this as "living in the moment," which is positive right? Aw hell, I said I get a PASS already.

Thankfully, a very humorous older gentleman joined me about half-way through my Mochaccino (making it a PARTY!). He has his own barium sulfate cocktail to consume, and his is berry flavored. The? There's more than one flavor? And why didn't they notify us or give us an option to choose? The menu here SUCKS. But wasn't it nice of them to arrive early this morning so that they could sit here with us as we consume our beverages and kill an hour?

I just finished my cocktail, and I don't even have a buzz.

My companion has stopped making jokes and is busy reading a magazine. I think I'm 10 minutes from starting this whole scan process.

If I ever have to do this again, I prefer afternoon. Because after this scan, I get to go to mammography, and then, after that? I get to go to work ... after I get fuel. Will the joys of this day ever cease?

Repeat to self:
I'll be on the beach in one week.

Happy Monday

I'm trying to be more positive, remember? So I'll start with the fact that ... I had a pretty good weekend. And this is the last week of school for the boy, and the last week before our vacation.

I really can't express HOW MUCH I need a vacation. Or maybe I kind of did in my last post.

So this week will be busy, prepping, and now I have another doctor appointment ... tomorrow actually. And that's a good thing, not a bad thing. It's good because they are going to do a CT scan of my abdomen and my pelvis to check out my lymph system.

I really think it will come back fine, and then we'll move from there and see what's up with my hormones.

How's that for optimistic? Pretty good when you consider that part of me wants to freak out and start planning my funeral because I probably have lymphoma. But those are irrational thoughts, so I won't go there. This is just going to be a good base-line scan to see what's up and that I'm healthy and all that. It's just to rule out anything horrible. No big deal.

So yes, happy, happy, I'm trying to be.

I read something on the Book of Face about talking about one's blessings more than one's problems. So, I'm trying PEOPLE.

That is all. Happy Monday.