Confession

I met him for coffee after my Trent time today.

I did the grown-up thing, chose to stick to morals, chose that over desire. It was hard.

And he brought more flowers. Looked like he got all dolled up ... But I did the right thing, and I think we'll still be friends. But I had to set boundaries. Was the right thing.

This staying home when R gone is also hard. To quote Wilco, "I hate it here. When you're gone." And the cold November rain does not help.

Stumbled upon this again today ...

The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

-- by Charles Bukowski

FC Dallas Select U-11 soccer

When Ryder arrived home tonight and saw his FCD backpack, organized it, tried on all of his gear? It hit me. We're Select. We did it. We didn't talk about it then bail. We're all official.

And I did it w/o financial help from his father or from my parents. Me and Ryder? We did this together. I am proud of us.

Too many words for Twitter

"And that's part of Dad's deal: If he's going to give you money, you're going to listen to all his suggestions about what to do with your life. That's probably every parent's deal. It's why you stand on your own two feet ..." - David Sedaris

Stories unfold

My son is changing, developing, maturing.

I pulled out photo albums in search of pics yesterday, Mother's Day. He flipped through also. Later he had a little meltdown about divorce and why everyone in our family hates each other. His sky was falling. I easily recognized and empathized.

His parents have been divorced longer than he can remember but he is maturing and just now seems to be feeling impact.

I need to write more on this later.

Parenthood

ME: "This was in R's school writing journal."

T-Girl: "Awesome. Very sweet."

ME: "I've yet to see one about his father. Have to brace myself for when that happens in the future."

T-Girl (whose son is two years older): "Here's what it looks like.

Mom vs. Dad ..."

Another soccer update

Jedi won this a.m. Opponents scored first. R equalized with a PK, and it was 1/1 at half.

W scored our second goal, then R scored two more (hat trick!).

Opponents came back to score two more goals, but we won with a final of 4/3.

Sporting FC match followed ... was nil/nil at half. Sporting won with two goals in the second half. Second one was R's - just before final whistle. He was happy.

2/nil final.

Both teams undefeated so far for Spring. Five matches between two teams over next eight days.

Love to watch my boy play.