The night

I miss him most when he's asleep, and not with me. When he's vulnerable, and I'm not there with him, to take care of him. I miss that the most.

Wait for it ...

These shall be my control mechanisms:
1) Eventually
2) Not in a hurry

The turn in the road has to come to you before you can take it. Wait for the turn.

Time

When you are awake, and your lover is asleep, and you can't even phone him. And you miss him so much.

Dates and pistachios

When your date is straight out of Waylon Lewis's THINGS I WOULD LIKE to DO with YOU.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/buy-things-i-would-like-to-do-with-you-waylon-lewis/

#waylonlewis #thingsiwouldliketodowithyou

Distance

You should lay on your side and I'll crawl up behind you. The front of my sunburned knees on the backs of yours. Feet touching, toes grabbing. I'll slip my arms under yours and hug you tight. And put my pointy nose in the crook of your neck. And smell all of the smells, feel all of the feels.

Happy New Year

Nothing says "I love you" more than drool on your head.

Happy New Year.

Confession

I met him for coffee after my Trent time today.

I did the grown-up thing, chose to stick to morals, chose that over desire. It was hard.

And he brought more flowers. Looked like he got all dolled up ... But I did the right thing, and I think we'll still be friends. But I had to set boundaries. Was the right thing.

This staying home when R gone is also hard. To quote Wilco, "I hate it here. When you're gone." And the cold November rain does not help.