Happiness is ...

... paying off the credit card on which I charged my attorney fees.

Downside? It ate up about half of my available checking funds; I feel poor now. But I hate debt, and I hate interest fees, so I'm trying to look at this as a 12 percent investment ... and now I'll focus on rebuilding some funds in my checking, and I won't have to worry about interest. I'm no longer carrying a balance; that weight has been lifted. Because I chose to make it so.

And I do have the relief of knowing *I* paid my attorney fees myself. I did not receive any financial assistance from my family (unlike the "respondent" asshole I faced in trial). I've faced some big financial obstacles over the past few years -- like getting laid off and being unemployed for basically half of 2012, not easy for anyone, especially a single mother whose baby-daddy is consistently behind on his child support. But I'm making it, and I'm making it on MY OWN. I always fear "next time," and question if I will continue to be able to make it if life throws me any more crazy curves. I pray for some stability, but life just always seems so insane.

Paying off that card, in a way, is me using a phrase that I'm using more and more often lately, and unapologetically, because some people really do need to hear it. It's me continuing to set boundaries. It's me saying, to that trial, to the respondent, to the haters, it's me saying ...

"FUCK YOU!"

Ah, now that feels much better. You should try it, especially if you tend to be a "people pleaser" like myself. Because maybe I'm finally realizing that the only person I need to please is me.